Not that the eighties really disappeared or debauchery ever really stopped. I mean, Motley Crüe is still around, but it might be about to return in full force. Why? I will get there.
In an attempt to escape the ridiculousness of Sunday television after having enough of the political jibber jabber and unable to find anything worthy of watching on cable TV, I turned my attention to the Music Choice “Rock” and “Metal” stations. Flipping back and forth in my typical male splendor, I stumbled across the new Alice and Chains and Clutch eventually landing on Steel Panther.
Having never heard of them or anything about them, I was baffled with lyrics that went something like, “…everytime I cheat on you I think of you, because my heart belongs to you.” Can you see where this is going? Down, the only direction it can go. What caught my attention is the date given to the track, “Community Property,” is 2009. With vocals reminiscent of Stryper and cheesy eighties rock riffs, I couldn’t help but explore. Supposedly these guys were a big part of the Sunset Strip back in the day.
From the website:
Steel Panther’s fabled live shows were like a GED class from the school of rock. And other bands took note: Their raucous stage shows, outrageous style, seismic guitar riffs, catchy melodies, catchier afflictions and indiscriminate taste in trollops and intoxicants – what frontman Michael Starr, lead guitarist Satchel, bassist Lexxi Foxxx, and drummer Stix Zadinia laid down would all be copied, as sure as if the original had been left at a Kinko’s where so many apprentice rockers dream of quitting their day jobs.
Uncertain of whether to be entertained or frightened, I continued to read. Eventually, I reached the members bios. Well, all I can say is I try to keep this site PG rated, so I will just provide a link to the Steel Panther website. However, you’ve been warned…
Can anyone confirm if Steel Panther was really around in the eighties, or is this just a sick joke? I really want to know. That said, I would just run away like the little guy in the picture above. Steel Panther is more like a bad version of Spinal Tap with the intent of mocking eighties glam bands such as Poison, L.A. Guns, and Twisted Sister. Although some will undoubtedly find these guys hilarious, Viola did, I just can’t help but say: “Oh God, didn’t we get enough of this garbage before?”
Unfortunately, their album is about to be launched in October with all their raunchiness. I won’t bother providing a video; I have already provided a link to their website which is more than enough. #rockmusicfail